This is in a town called Troon in Arizona.  Next, you need some guests…

We have the bride’s side here, also my Rent-A-Family with my adorable Rent-A-Mom second from the left. Her daughter, my Rent-A-Sister, is hanging onto her corsage because it is very heavy and won’t stay on.

My Rent-A-Sister Siobhan, is going to have to re-pin that corsage on RAM…

OUCHHHHHH!!!! Watch it with the corsage pins sweetheart!

Next we need to add a little multicultural Scottish and Jewish Fusion…

Perfect…Now some more people and a little flair from the Dashing and ever so stylish Groom…

Now, how about some ridiculously attractive people?

Nice…But what would a wedding be without some “best friend” bridesmaid DRAMA to almost put the poor blushing bride into intensive care a week before the wedding?  Bridesmaids mercifully were allowed to pick any basic black dress that looked good on them and was approved by the bride- how nice is that? Well, BFF from Hell decides she is either J Lo or Kim Kardashian, submitting absurdly inappropriate beaded gowns and what not slit up to there and down to …well, you get the point.  Finally she quit submitting, they were not speaking… She shows up total COMANDO!  And everyone could tell, so her boyfriend was sent out to buy the poor BFF from Hell some panties…

Here she is sporting her brand new panties, whew! Close call…

And then of course, a heavy dose of LOVE between two people who are perfect for each other, also, both incredibly photogenic…

Here comes the bride with Mom & Dad! Woo-hoo! Get a load of that totally amazing gown!

And of course, sealed with the kiss…

I can’t believe after 463 months of planning this is over….

Cue the awesome wedding singer…

Now add some delectable food, dance your ass off and have a spectacular life together!
It’s not THE END, it’s just the beginning…xoxo

Do you have something that is in your house that if anyone saw it, you would cringe in embarrassment?  I do.  And since my garage acts as my foyer it gets seen more often  than not.  It started out as a little grouping in the corner. Now my cringe reflex is quite strong from so much activity. Today I looked at it as I added my first pallet to the structure and I just started laughing.  It has become modern art.  A precarious installation.  First I said to myself, “I will get out here and cut up these boxes when it warms up, it’s just too cold right now.”  Now, it’s in the 80′s, gorgeous, but rather than cut them up, which I can’t stand doing, I decided to get rid of the shame by posting it in all my hoardiness for the world to see and judge me by.  I actually find it amusing.

I am open for suggestions.  Really, I am not a hoardingclutterbug.  Everything that was in these boxes has its place in the house, odd as my taste & sensibilities are- that’s another story.  My closets are not bumpsteaded and I clean out stuff I don’t use and donate it fairly often. Of course with the exception of my studio which is decorated in “Oh, I better keep this, it’s cool and I might be able to use it in something…”  A friend did ask me when she found she was moving “would you save me some boxes for moving?”  Thank you Cristin, do you think she noticed I was not getting rid of them?

Shop much online???? Holy crap!

Do I need a support group?  My favorite is the one in the lower left that says “Looks like someone’s decorating.”  It should say “Hmmm…Looks like someone’s got a problem.”  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go assemble some things with little tiny allen wrenches and screws you can’t replace from a typical hardware store.  I will be back when the fish sticks are finished, soon.

And so it goes, my wish is for her, to forever be treated like a princess and may her tiara always hold firm.  My good friend’s beautiful daughter is getting married.  Today was her bridal shower.  That for me was the quote that stuck. “I can’t bend over, my tiara will fall off.” I just love it, on so many different levels.

The second memorable quote was by a guest who commented “I’ve been married twice, I know how to do this.” It was only the second shower I have ever attended in my life I think, and it was spectacular. My friend did an amazing job.

My friend, who saves helpless and sick children’s lives by day and plans her only daughters wedding by night, weekend and between breaths, after months of living in fight or flight mode, is beyond the meltdown stage.  I would say she is at that stage, I don’t know the exact scientific name of it, but it would be where you are so fried you just turn back into pure energy.  Poof!

Being in a room full of gorgeous 20 somethings wearing short shorts and mini dresses, cellulite free, varicose vein free will bring the stark contrast of where we are on our personal journey, front and center.  At some point I jumped the fence to the other side.  The side where the life in front of me is very different from when I was 20 something.  Did it turn out to be all that I thought it would in my 20′s?  Hell no, way better than I ever would have thought of on my own.

I had the privilege of hanging out with my Rent-A-Mom who is 87 and the most adorable person I know.  If I were to build a mom from scratch, it would turn out like her.  She is getting ready, psychologically for right now, to move out of her home of about 45 years, to a place where she will be safer.  Someone to remind her to take her meds and be there if she falls.  We talked about how difficult it is to give up your independence, the driving and now living on her own.  All these transitions of life flow naturally, when it is time to jump the fence and give up something that we can’t have anymore because it no longer works, actually seems to no longer exist, then we have to jump and be grateful we still have a fence in front of us.  Each stage of life is a gift that not everyone gets to experience and for whatever reason our society seems to only focus on the first couple of stages like we are all supposed to stay there forever.  It’s all so rich whatever the challenges. She will make new friends and from what I know about those places they party like it’s 1994 all the time.

Anyway, here are a few pics from today that sent me on this little mental whatever.

It blows to be blue.

Collagen injections?

This white Croc/gator? was very blurry, so I wrapped him in plastic wrap.

Here is his body, never seen a white whatever he is. But he is very cool looking.

Hand puppet.

Wow, have you put on a few lbs.?

Gitty up!

I know, I know, but it’s a BABY PANTHER!

I know, I know, but it’s a BABY WHITE TIGER!

Yes, as a matter of fact, I did dig all these holes.

Ahhh…now just a little to the right…ahhhh!

Such a sad face of something in a cage…

Hand of the sad faced something in a cage, even his hand looks sad.

Prickly baby.

Game: Find the 2nd Zebra.

Black & White

Kangaroo Potluck

Pbbbffffttttt!

Say cheese…

Hoping your Valentine’s Day is at least half as happy as hot slobbery turtle sex! You were not expecting that were you?

On the domestic front:  Poor Banjo the patient recovering with his donut after having his anal glands removed due to a tumor on one. Not a fun process, but he is a good boy and he’s doing great. Definitely a carpet cleaning in my future.

The meaning is as follows.  The stone at the bottom is for 20 years of an unhealthy relationship (for which I take full responsibility for my involvement, trust me, I’ve done the homework now..) The gold hammered heart is self explanatory, the ruby was added for hope for an abundant future and the bird is that I am now just learning to fly after figuring it all out.  The sapphire just above the ruby, hard to see, was the signature of the designer of the wedding ring.  He always embedded a sapphire in each piece as his signature.  He, by the way, is now divorced, leaving young twins because he preferred to mess around with one of his designers.  On it goes.  This is a much larger piece than I expected it to be but being almost 6ft tall I will adjust just fine.  It is a BIG deal and perhaps the Universe decided it needed to be big.  The other stones were in the ring as well.  It beats throwing it in the safe never to be seen again or selling it for cash.

It becomes raw materials, like my life, ready to redesign, finally the way I choose, with no manipulation, bullying and verbal abuse.  Pity the next narcissist that crosses my path.  Eyes wide open and ready for flight, clear the runway.